Why I am a sissy

The answer is I do not know for sure.

Recently on twitter I tried to help someone who was wanting a recommendation of a Mistress in my area who would look after a novice to the scene.

I like to think I am a helpful person so I tried to make friends with them on twitter and give them some of the experience I had in my dealings going so far as to give my email address to them as the 140 character twitter limit made it difficult to say all I wanted to say.

I took a lot of time and effort and went into detail and answered many emails giving long detailed replies trying to help as much as I could .
This is for a couple of reasons not to try and prove I am some sort of great guy and big myself up because the opposite is true I really don’t like myself.
It was more that I would have loved some advice before I started my journey into submission if you read this blog I wasted so many years being scared and with nobody to talk to and I promised I would do everything I could if someone needed my help in a similar situation.

Also I thought it could help the three amazing Mistresses in my life and put another potential long term sub their way I try to help them as much as possible by re tweeting and mentioning them on this blog and posting links.

I now deeply regret doing this as this person has now posted tweets to me asking if I am gay and bi as no normal straight person would allow anal and oral training.
Also he says the fact I dress in girls clothes for my spankings would add to the evidence.
Also he sent me a nasty Direct message saying some hurtful things.

Now a few things before I get to the title of this blog post.

I am not homophobic.

Despite a life in a tough working class housing scheme in Glasgow and years in the macho competitive world of football I have never ever used any homophobic insults I would never accuse anyone of acting poofy or call them a bender or such like it is just not the sort of person I am.
To be honest I don’t actually think I have met a gay person not because I have avoided them just my background and social life I guess I must have met some that were not openly gay but I can not say for certain.

I actually wrote a scientific blog piece of evolutionary reasons for homosexuality on my other blog which I posted on a football site whilst arguing with a bigot.

I do not care about anyones sexuality,race.religion or anything else the only thing I care about is if they are a nice person I will be friends with anyone from any background as long as they are kind.

But anyway here are some things about me dressing up.

I have only cross dressed while in a session I have no compunction or desire to cross dress outwith a session.
In fact Mistress Lilith ordered me to buy and wear stockings and panties underneath my trousers on the morning and afternoon before my last session and I was horrified and really humiliated.
To be honest I hope she does it again as it added to the session and had me a wreck for hours before I was over her knee.
This is the only occasion in my life I have done this outwith a session.

I have thought it over in my mind why it is so important during a session to be dressed up and I have a few conclusions.

All the spanking videos and therefore all my spanking fantasies have all been female female over the knee scenes.

It really adds to the humiliation the tottering about on high heels makes me feel so very vulnerable and adds to my submissive feelings.
I like the tight constricted feeling of the clothing the way the stockings and suspenders cling to my legs.
The tightness of my skirt which rubs against me as I walk.
The straps of the bra on my shoulders.
I must always wear a very wide belt tightened as much as possible as I love the feeling of it and the way it pulls in my waist and gives me a better figure.
With all this and the wig I am given I genuinely feel like the naughty girl of my fantasies which makes the spanking so much better.

I know I am not convincing but that is not the point.
I know for a fact that I am a very unattractive and really ugly man in the real world.
I am the same dressed as a sissy but in my mind I feel like a pretty and sexy girl and this makes me happy.

The three amazing Mistresses that punish me also add to the excitment.
Mistress Lilith takes great delight in making me describe my tarty outfit.
Mistress Argenta and Mistress Ana made me look at myself in the mirror during the last session and I really was surprised how I looked and I liked looking at myself.
They make me feel good about myself and how I look even though it is being dressed as a girl.
I don’t like looking at myself in the mirror when dressed normally in the real world.

So I guess anyone who has made it to the end of this will be none the wiser as to why I dress up for a session.

I just like it.

‘The unexamined life is not worth living’      Socrates

‘Who cares why I do it I am happy’         Marmalade Johnstone