My latest session was the best ever.
I don’t know where to start.
There are no words to do it justice.But I shall give it a try.
Be warned this may be too long don’t read material
All of this that happened would not have been possible without my Goddess Mistress Lilith
Mistress Lilith webpage for booking sessions
Mistress Lilith fan page
PART 1
I have been lucky enough to have sessions with a number of Mistresses and each one is marvellous and different and it has been a pleasure to be in the company of these wonderful ladies.
In my head I have a little list of whom I think spanks the hardest and who is most lethal with the cane or who scares me with the ferocity of their use of the tawse.
One thing however I have always thought is that I could not be spanked over the knees to tears. I always thought that the tears came after the otk when the straps and canes come out to play as I am tied over the spanking bench.
It was always a fantasy of mine to be spanked so hard while over the knee that it brought me to tears. I feel closer to Mistress Lilith in this position I feel her dominance more I feel more submissive it just feels natural and I am totally powerless and give myself fully to her.
So for my most recent session I discussed this with Mistress Lilith, I said I was terrified of topping from the bottom but I would like to try the more severe punishments for this session with the otk not just a painful warm up but the start of the real punishment.
I had no doubts this session was going to be different but I was not prepared at all for how it turned out and how it made me feel.* I thought it would go along the usual lines with unexpected little surprises as Mistress Lilith usually does keeping every session fresh and different from the last.
* I am writing this on Monday the session was on the Friday.I am still bouncing off the walls and talking at 100 miles an hour.Never had a reaction to a session like this before.
Mistress Lilith was laughing as she took a leather paddle with holes, a wooden paddle and thick plastic stick with holes from the assortment of scary implements on the wall of pain as I call it.
‘You are not in big trouble this time Marmy’ she said with a beautiful smile that made me weak at the knees and my heartbeat stop then race at a thousand miles an hour.
So the session started as normal. I was pulled over Mistress Lilith’s knees and she started to hand spank me.I tried the old wearing two pairs of panties trick.
When this was discovered I said ” I’m just trying to inject a little variety into your life Mistress’
This got a snort of derision and the reply
‘The only variety is the variety of marks I’m going to make on this backside”
Now a Mistress Lilith hand spanking is not to be treated lightly*.It hurts but right away I realised the shocking truth.
All previous hand spankings hurt but none of them I now know were full force. This full force hand spanking had me squirming across Mistress Lilith’s knees and shouting out in pain.
Then the leather paddle. After less than a minute it was clear this was going to be the harshest punishment I have ever taken. The wooden paddle however is where the trouble started and when I knew I had bitten off more than I could chew.
It just about covered 3/4 of the cheek of my backside but the force behind it meant I could feel it on the other side. I really started to struggle and Mistress Lilith never stopped she had a random rhythm some fast strokes on the exact same spot then slow alternate strokes but one constant was each was harder than the last.
Then breaking point in more ways than one was the stick with holes.
The first blow that landed hurt as much as any items I have had used on me. I didn’t think I could take even one more stroke.Of course I took several dozen.
I started to cry just little cries and tears in my eyes then sobs and wet tears dropping on the wooden floor then huge big cries of pain and genuine full blown crying and sobbing**
There was no respite from Mistress Lilith.
‘A spanking is supposed to hurt’ she said
‘This one has just started’
She was not kidding.
We went back to the start and a hand spanking which hurt twice as much this time.
The leather paddle had me kicking my legs and crying even louder.
The wooden paddle produced just sobbing sounds I could not speak it hurt so much.
‘Something to say to me Marmy?’ Mistress Lilith said with a happy voice.
Through sobs and with a weak voice I managed to say
‘As always you were right you can be spanked to tears over the knee’
‘I’m always right you should know that by now and I have not even started this spanking’
‘No’ I said
‘WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME’ Mistress Lilith said slightly raising her voice but it sounded like a Goddess speaking to me and echoed through the room.
You see saying no to Mistress Lilith if you pardon the pun is a no no. I learned that a long time ago and every session I exhaust my limited vocabulary trying to think of words that mean no. I should really have a pocket Thesaurus with me to help.
‘Sorry Mistress’
‘You will be’
‘You wanted spanked to tears over my knee didn’t you? Well they say dreams that come true often become a nightmare’ Mistress Lilith said in an almost sing song voice.
Then as I was being thrashed with the wooden stick with holes I had an almighty acid reflux attack.I literally spewed out on the floor.
*Her self titled ‘Big Eyrshire Hauns’ Big Ayrshire hands for anyone outwith the West of Scotland.
** When I think back it was 90% tears caused by the considerable pain and 10% joy that my fantasy of being dressed in stockings suspenders high heels short skirt and wig and being spanked over the knee so hard that I was crying was finally happening.
I think I was also crying over the traumas new and present in my life they say a good cry is cathartic.
Also as brutally honest as I can be as I try to be on this blog I enjoy F/F spanking videos
The one I watch the most is called Spanking girls faces, A front on shot of girls being spanked till they cry
I don’t watch it as I enjoy seeing women hurt quite the contrary I watch it as I wish I was dressed like them and getting the same punishment from a strong dominant woman as they are getting. It is only fair I allow the same level of punishment to myself to see how I would cope.
As you shall read not very well my admiration for these girls knows no bounds they are tougher than me.
PART 2
My brain immediately as it does when things go wrong took the chance to stick the boot into me
The horrible voice in my head
‘Nice one in the middle of a session of a lifetime you upchuck acid all over the floor you can’t do anything right‘
‘I’m so sorry Mistress I’m so very sorry’ I said weakly thinking that’s it end of session.
I should have known better. Mistress Lilith being an experienced and responsible Mistress had asked about any health issues I have and knew of my trouble with stomach acid.
‘Don’t worry here clean it up’ Mistress Lilith handed me some wet wipes and I cleaned the mess up and washed my hands and face.
Honestly I expected it to be the end of the session.
Again I underestimated the awesomeness of Mistress Lilith.
‘I have a duty of care while you are with me are you happy to go on there is no problem with stopping the session’ I was asked.
‘I would love to go on please and I am so so sorry’ I replied
‘Nothing to be sorry about now change of position over the spanking bench’ Mistress Lilith ordered.
I could not believe my luck this wonderful session was not going to be derailed despite the best efforts of my neurosis or physical problems.
Once I was over the bench I though the session would be milder after my accident.
Could not be further from the truth.
Right away the terrible trio of paddles were given a workout on my very painful backside all with a wonderful commentary from Mistress Lilith of how bruised and marked I was getting.
It didn’t take long for the tears to start then the sobbing then the bawling my eyes out
‘I told you you were going to get spanked till you couldn’t take anymore then you were going to get spanked harder’ said a happy Mistress Lilith she clearly was enjoying this.
I have never had a safe word with Mistress Lilith I know what she wants a sub to say as a safe word but she is so skilled that even when I was well past what I usually take for punishment I didn’t want to say it.
It must take years of experience and no small amount of talent to be able to push the boundaries of a submissive like that.
I was being punished way over my limits but at no time was I scared I felt safe and reassured with Mistress Lilith. I had absolute trust in her and my devotion to her made me want even harsher punishment. It really is remarkable the effect she has on me.
Gosh sometimes I wish she was my life coach I would be a happier and more successful person if that were to happen.
Mistress Lilith stopped for a drink of Cranberry juice saying the juice was the same colour as my backside and she returned with the diary I had to write for this session.
She was not pleased one little bit found my work writing and all round effort not good enough.
In all she found 20 mistakes which equalled 20 strokes of the cane.
The caning was by far the worse I have ever had.
1st stroke I starting sobbing uncontrollably again.
‘Marmy there are 19 to go and I am hardly hitting you they are going to get harder as they go on’ Mistress Lilith said and I could hear the happiness in her voice which made me happy.
Then I said the single most stupid thing I have ever said in a session.
‘I shudder to think what a full force stroke feels like if that is hardly hitting me’
Before the last word was out Mistress Lilith showed me what a full force cane stroke from her was like*
At first I couldn’t make a sound then I let out a sort of rasping gasp then a high pitched whine that frightened every dog and cat within a 20 mile radius as every cubic centimetre of breath left my body all at once and flew up through the roof up into the sky flashing through the Van Allen Belts and the atmosphere past the International Space Station and headed for the Andromeda Galaxy where in 20 thousand odd years an alien on his planet will look up at the sky and wonder what the high pitched screaming noise is**
By far the hardest I have been hit by anything in nearly six years of sessions.
Mistress Lilith was really happy.
‘It has broke the skin and with the paddle marks it looks like a smiley face’ she gleefully said.
I always wonder and worry terribly that Mistress Lilith isn’t enjoying the sessions with me.
Mainly because I am a neurotic mess but this day I was in no doubt she was laughing and really happy.
The next part of the caning was 6 ferocious strokes so fast I did not have time to count them.
‘How are you feeling Marmy’ asked a clearly unconcerned Mistress Lilith as she stiffed a laugh.
Before I could get off a smart reply another 3 blistering strokes had me again screaming in a high pitch not heard since the last Castrato died***
Again this was a punishment way beyond anything I have ever had before.
I am not in any competition with any of my fellow subs (waves to my good friends in the Twitter subs union) but I always think from what they say and from pictures posted that I get off lightly.
Well not today.
How I got through the last nine I do not know.
If fact I lost count and ended up getting 21 strokes of the cane.
Again like the village idiot I am in a session I said ‘That’s unfair I got one extra’
Mistress Lilith dragged me back over the spanking bench and gave me another full force stroke.
‘Now you have 2 extra’ with an almost giggle in her voice.
I could not move for the pain I tried rubbing my sore bottom but touching it hurt. What I could feel were bumps and all the cane marks.Despite the pain and tears I felt so happy and again some of the tears were tears of joy.
* Where were you at approx 4.50pm on Friday 21st? Did you notice the window blinds move? The drink in your glass suddenly have ripples? As I’m sure the scream I eventually let out was about 3.6 on the Richter scale enough to cause some structural damage on old buildings.
** Aye ok I know space is a vacuum and there is no sound I just wrote that for comedic effect. I do (believe it or not) have a diploma from Harvard University completing a long distance course in Astronomy.
*** Read all about it Marmy screaming
PART 3
I thought that was it but I failed to please Mistress Lilith at the end of the session* at one point she slapped my face for my talking myself down and when I wouldn’t stop doing it she had enough and started to choke me. It was all done in good humour but scary at the time she is one very strong woman.
For my failure I was told extra punishment was to be given.
The thickest heaviest and just all round mean Tawse was brought out to play.
I had to bend over for 3 strokes on the bare.
I thought I can handle this I am well warmed up.
Will I ever learn.
The twase bit and wrapped itself round my whole bum and the two tails snapped viciously at the side of my thigh.
Sheer agony and I was blubbering again.
Then something that has not happened for a while and I am giving the game away.
Six of the tawse on the hands.
I both love and hate this.
Obvious Mistress Lilith puts her shoulder into each stroke and even after one I am struggling to cope.3 on both hands lefts them reddened and bruised even now as I type this 3 days later my hands still hurt.
I love it because I have to stand in front of Mistress Lilith and I can see her in all her glory and how she towers over me how she radiates power and dominance.To see her smiling at me then bringing the tawse down on my hands is one of the greatest things I have ever seen.
I love being tawsed on the hands by her I know she doesn’t read my blog (who does?) so it is safe to say that.
This was not the session done.
As again I stupidly mentioned that the punishment on my thighs in the last session hurt days later I got more of the same.
I have no idea which hurts more. Front of the thigh is sheer agony.Back of the thigh is absolute murder.
But again both afford me the view of a dominant powerful beautiful woman punishing me so I secretly like it.Again in a long list of stupid things I have said in a session I said
‘Just as well you are not using the these between my legs as it is a tiny target to guy’s
As if by magic two perfectly aimed right on target strokes on the tip of my penis Really and I mean really sore
‘Stop talking yourself down Marmy’ MIstress Lillith told me.
Mistress Lilith was kind enough to rub some Savlon on my cuts and bruises which I appreciated.
* I’m on new meds. They are creating havoc. I could not relive myself in front of Mistress Lilith as she ordered. I said that I was sorry and I always feel bad about doing this even though Mistress Lilith wants me to do it.
Mistress Lilith wants me to be attracted to a beautiful woman punishing me and that is why I have to do this at the end of a session I always wanted to know why but was too scared to ask.
I still worry I am objectifying and causing offence to someone I love and respect I usually look at the wall while I am ordered to do this
For the record I told Mistress Lilith this
‘You are the most beautiful woman I have know’
‘And you are the most beautiful woman I have ever saw’
I stand by this.
THE EPILOGUE (Warning bum photo)
The session was over I got undressed and looked at my bum in the mirror.
Apart from looking at my horrible naked body I loved the state my backside was in
My first and hopefully not last proper punishment session
3 days later I was in work and sat down and jumped up with a yelp thinking I had sat on a tack.
It was not that it was the full force cane stroke wheal that I sat down on it is still raised red and angry.
And I love it and love Mistress Lilith for doing it to me.
The day I plucked up courage to visit for a session with her was the best decision I ever made.
She makes my monochrome world into a technicolor one with surround sound an 4D
I am a better person when I am orbiting her star I have no doubts about this.
So those of a nervous disposition look away now here is a scary picture.
This is my bum 3 days later the smiley face full force cane stroke is bottom left on the left photo most of the bruising was the fault of the horrible trio of paddles.
Marmalde 'Marmy' Johnston sissy sub ramblings 