Everything you wanted to know about visiting a Mistress/Dominatrix for the first time (but were too afraid to ask)

I do not pretend to be an expert but this is my guide written from the heart using my experience and is something I wish I had known before I started on this journey.

1. Finding a Mistress where to start.

For me it was as easy as searching for anything else on the internet.
I just typed in Glasgow spanking Mistress and very many hits came up.
You will find lots of hits for your area if you do this.
There are also many dedicated search sites that have databases of Mistress’s by region.

http://pandemos.net/directory/4582620813
http://www.ukmistressguide.co.uk/ukmistresses.html

2 What to look for on a Mistress’s site

Any reputable Mistress will have a professional website with all the information you need about the Mistress and what services that she offers.
I have been lucky enough to session with Mistress’s in Glasgow and this is her site.

http://www.mistresslilith.com/

The site has all the information you could wish to make your decision.

There will be a gallery of pictures of the Mistress showing what she looks like and some of the clothing she will wear during the session remember you are not ordering a fashion model to dress up for you but many Mistress are happy to wear a special outfit if this is part of your fetish (school teacher look,leather/rubber fetish,uniform)

There will be a description of the services offered during the session and what fetishes the Mistress will cater for so read this carefully.
If your fetish is not listed you can always ask
Apart from the practices that we all find unacceptable (anything involving children or cruelty to animals for instance) I reckon the Mistress you contact will have heard nearly all the fetishes and fantasies there are before so do not be afraid to ask if yours is not listed.

But if for what ever reason the Mistress cannot help you with your fetish then take no for an answer.
This is not up for negotiation if the Mistress does not cater for your particular fetish do not insult her by trying to persuade her to do so you will get nowhere

And under no circumstance ask for any sexual services no true Mistress would ever perform a sex act on a submissive or have a submissive perform a sex act on them if this is what you are looking for I suggest you are not really wanting a Mistress and instead look up the many prostitute/escort sites on the internet.This is about dominant,humiliation,submission and a hundred other things but it is not about sex.

There will be photos and a description of where the session will take place and what equipment is in the dungeon/studio or domestic setting where it takes place so you will know what to expect when you arrive.

There will be a page with reviews from clients just like yourself where you can read about what happened during their sessions,
There is also this good site where you can also read reviews

http://mistressreview.com/Mistress-Reviews/

There will be a page with the tributes (fees) for the session.
Depending on what type of session you want this tribute will vary in price if the tribute is not listed on the website your Mistress will let you know and agree a price once she knows what amount of time and what type of session you want when you contact her by phone.email.
Do not insult Mistress by asking for a discount these fees are non negotiable and if you are looking for money off I would suggest your heart is not into the world of submission rather you are a cheapskate

3 How to contact the Mistress

On the website there will be clear instructions on how to get in touch to arrange a session.
There will be a couple of ways to do this there may be a contact form where you will fill in your email address and space for you to put down the time you would like to visit and a description of what type of session you would like.
If this is not available there will be a mobile phone number for you to call if using the phone it is very important do not withhold your number or your call will not be answered.
Now this is vital to remember you are dealing with a professional and she should be treated as such.
A pro-domme is like any other professional (doctor lawyer etc) and she will be a very very busy person.
Do not send an email or leave a phone message and then send another if you are not answered within a couple of hours.
Be patient and you will get a reply
Do not be a pain and clog up the inbox or voice mail of Mistress with repeated messages this will also see you not get an answer.
Oh and do not be really stupid and start any correspondence with ‘hey babe’ Hi Love’ or anything similar.
You are dealing with a professional dominant woman so treat her with the utmost courtesy and be polite and respectful at all times.
You may also be asked to make a deposit of part of the tribute this is to deter time wasters and should not be a problem if you are a sincere and serious about the session you have booked.

4 The day of the session

Few things to remember

You know that sign in your Doctors surgery that says 58 patients failed to turn up for appointments this month?
Well it is exactly the same with a Mistress.
If you book a session do not treat it as something you can call off on the same day as you have changed your mind.
Respect your Mistress and respect others like you who may not be able to book a session because you have the only time slot that they could mange only to cancel.
You may be asked to phone up a couple of hours before your session to confirm please do this as it is only right and correct that your Mistress knows you are coming.

You will be given clear and easy to understand instructions on how to get to the place where the session will be taking place please make sure you have plenty of time for your journey and that you arrive for your allotted appointment time.

Make sure you are clean and presentable as your Mistress I can assure you will be immaculate and the least you can do is the same.
Make sure you are fresh and tidy have a shower or bath on the morning of your session.
I find that I am still very nervous before my session and this added to the stairs I have to climb to the studio means I am sweating a lot.
What I also do is have some wet wipes and a small can of deodorant to wipe myself down with just before I go to the door of the studio so I look and feel as good as I can for Mistress.

You may want to check the wishlist on your Mistress site for a gift you can bring Mistress.
Be sensible though if the item on the wishlist you buy is a fetish wear item keep it in the bag and out of site the studio may be in a shared building and marching in with a thigh high pair of boots in full show is not a good idea!

5 Before the session

Your Mistress will have discussed by phone or email what sort of session you will have but when you meet in person she will take the time to have a quick chat with you to go over a few things.
This is not the time to be shy if there is anything you do not understand or are unsure about speak up.
For instance I asked how I should refer to Mistress when addressing her.
Some may wish to be know by their full name others by Goddess or Madam
Use whatever you are told at all times as it shows the proper respect.
Mistress will be friendly at helpful before the session and will put you at ease please try not to be afraid to talk to her it will help both of you get the most out of the session.
Your Mistress will discuss what sort of things you are going to do in the session and will perhaps ask you a few things along the lines of

is it ok to mark you with the punishments,

what kind of role play,

what implement you want to use and don’t want to use,

what sort of limits you have

and if you are looking for a more severe punishment you may be given a safe word which when you say it the punishment will stop.
Mistress will be in control and look after you do not be scared nothing will happen that is not agreed on before
Safe sane and consensual is the order of the day.

There is an elephant in the room and that is the handing over of the tribute.
I used to and still feel a bit awkward about this but it really is nothing to worry about.
This is just you paying the going rate for a first class professional service for an expert in their field.
Mistress will ask you for this fee before the session starts and you just hand it over.
Do not be insulted if Mistress wants to count it out in front of you this is to protect you both and make sure all is in order in fact you may well have counted it out wrong and paid too much so it is best all is straight up and above board for all concerned.

Once this is concluded Mistress may leave the room for a minute.
You may be asked to strip off and kneel in the submissive position or if in my case cross dressing is part of the session this gives you time to dress up,
This is the start of your session and from now on Mistress will be in control so sit back and enjoy the ride 🙂

6 The session

Everyone will have a different session depending on their tastes but a brief rule of thumb for them all I think is as follows.

Mistress is in charge,You may have a detailed roleplay and scenario in your mind that you want to try out but Mistress is an expert at this and will give you very close to what you are looking for but will add a few twists of her own which will make the session much better than you dared dream.
Be careful there is a phrase  ‘Topping from the bottom’

If your session involves corporal punishment do not attempt to call the shots and ask to be punished in a certain order or in a certain way.
This will really cheese off your Mistress if you attempt to do this and rightly so.
You are not in control of the session Mistress is and knows far better than you how to do a fun and enjoyable session.

Don’t be worried if you become sexually aroused.Though the session has nothing to do with sex for me it can be an arousing experience when you are dominated by a powerful and beautiful woman.
I would go further it is impossible for me not to be excited and stimulated during a session no matter how much I try not to.
My Mistress always comments on this with me and this adds to the humiliation when I am told my little sissy clitty stick should not be getting hard and I must be punished more for this.

This is the fantasy you have probably had for years and you are fulfilling it so for your own sake enjoy and make the most of it and I know you will have fun if you relax and let yourself go.

Even better your Mistress will have fun as well it gives me so much pleasure seeing Mistress happy during a session and knowing that I have helped make her happy by being the best submissive I can
Like most things in life the more you put into a session means the more you will get out of it I promise you this is the case.
do not be afraid let your inhibitions go you will not regret it.

Now something happened at the end of my first session and has also happened at the end of all the subsequent other ones that I did not expect and I have to mention it.
At the end of the first session I was ordered by Mistress to relieve myself in front of her.
I was so nervous that I could not do it.
Since then I have managed to do it every time I have been ordered to.

There is absolutely no physical contact between myself and Mistress I am ordered to lie down as she stands across the room from me and gives me a time limit to orgasm if I do not do it in this time I am to be punished more.
I do not know if this is the case with all Mistress’s at the end of a session but though it makes me feel a little bit uneasy doing it as I am scared I am objectifying Mistress the fact that I know that Mistress wants me to do it and she would not order me to do it if it did not make her happy and I so want to make her happy during a session.

7 After the session

Mistress will leave when the session is done and give you time to compose yourself and get dressed.
There maybe shower facilities on offer at the studio.dungeon for you to further freshen up.
(I take my life in my hands and use the showers in the train station next to the studio there are a few horror stories I could tell about that! but I have a long journey home by public transport and I don’t want to stink the place out)
Mistress will return and you should be able to have a quick chat about the session with Mistress and you will find her as fun and friendly outwith the session as you did find strict and severe in it,This is the time to ask anymore questions and discuss what you would like to do on your next visit.
But remember Mistress is very busy and will have another session starting soon so do not over stay your welcome no matter how much you are enjoying chatting (I am still guilty of this I just want to stay and talk all day)
Remember to thank Mistress for her time and the session you had.

Well I hope this is helpful to any new subs out there and gives you an idea of what to expect when you visit a Mistress for the first time.
I am @Sissy_Sakur on twitter please feel free to add me if you want to chat or if there are any other questions you have about this I would love to talk with you and try and help in any way I can.

7. My conclusions (update 19-10-21)

I posted this in 2014 when I had been having sessions for 3 years and still not hit double figures in sessions with Mistress Lilith and was still learning as I still am tosay reaching my 10th anniversary of being in submiaaion with Mistress Lilith.

Looking back I think it is still pretty much relevant and I have not edited anything .

If you happen to stumble across this as a novice and it helps that would be wonderful you have to trust me you can’t be any worse of a nervous wreck than I was when I first booked and attended a session. Honestly I was is such a state but withing 5 minutes I knew I had made the right choice and I can say hand on hard ten years later and dozens of sessions in I still fee lthe same sense of excitment and endless wonder every single time I walk into that studio and see and hear Mistress Lilith.
I thought about going for a session literally for about 20+ years before I actually managed to do it and I have only one regret that I ddn’t do it way sooner.

Life for me is fleeting there is nothing that has convinced me on my time of Earth that there is anything after our natural lifespan and that our conciousness dies when we do, Faith is not evidence so I feel you must act on your deepest fantasies now and do not waste a precious moment because it could all end in an instance.

My life in general is not a happy one but the hours spent in a session with Mistress Lilith are as happy a time as I have ever spent in my life. Please do not be scared the reality is much better than the fantasy. Take the plunge don’t have regrets years later you will find a whole new undiscovered country awaits you and will meet some of the very most remarkable people you will ever know in your entre life.

Can a Mistress learn from a sub/slave?

 

Question in the title was asked by a fellow member of the subsunion (Hi Lars) on Twitter which got some rich and varied answers. A really good question which got lots of replies and gave a good insight into the mindset of my fellow submissives and how they view the relationship in a session with their Mistress.

While we are on the subject of the subsunion I strongly urge you to check out the great new blog site Subs Union Blog

I highly recommend it as it has interesting insightful articles from very astute subs and certainly better than the same navel gazing self pity rubbish you will read here.

Back to topic and I was surprised one Mistress answered and said she had learned a lot from her clients. most of my fellow subs friends they had learned a lot from their Mistress and a couple said they thought it was a two way street and both parties could learn things over a period of time in the sessions.
I respect the views of my fellow subs a lot and it was good to read their thoughts as they answered in depth and very honestly.

However my neurosis and anxiety make me worry when asked a simple question like this.

I can’t or would not  presume to speak for Mistress Lilith

Mistress Lilith has 19 years of being a Domme and has trained many more Dommes in that time.
I guess she has seen and done it all in her time  with subs and all sorts of weird and wonderful kinks and fetishes so nothing would faze her.

I personally do not think Mistress Lilith has learned a thing from me in the 6 and a half years that I have been fortunate to serve.
In my case it certainly is not a two way street I am the only person who is learning anything which is great but at the same time I wish I could be memorable enough or interesting enough to make some kind of impression.
Don’t get me wrong the sessions are great and they are exciting and scary and unpredictable thanks to Mistress Lilith’s wicked sense of humour and strictness.

It is all on me I cause problems for myself my anxiety goes through the roof at the best of times and during a session which is one of the few real joys in my life they take over

 

 

In fact the real worry is not can I teach my Mistress anything new it is more that I am worried that instead of a exchange of ideas and a fun session for both parties my particular kink and still shyness in a session makes me appear boring
Again this is all on me Mistress Lilith has always been great in every session and keeps me on my toes I genuinely do not know what to expect which is a testament to an amazing Mistress.

It is myself that worries.

No two way street no exchange of ideas or a teaching moment just a run of the mill bog standard and perhaps a boring sub
I bore myself in the real world a lot of the time so it would be not huge surprise if I am boring in my kink life.

 

 

So the answer to the question is in my case I don’t think so. I don’t think a painfully shy sub with six and a half years experience of sessions has anything to teach a very experienced Mistress of over 19 years .

It may well be different for other subs and their Mistresses  but I am as sure as I can be that it is not a learning experience is a session with me I am far too predictable and unexciting.

I am best to just listen and learn and enjoy during a session and try and make it fun for the Mistress I serve.
I honestly don’t think I have much to teach anyone.
So I guess this is a long and round about way of me answering the question by saying some subs may teach a Mistress occasionally in a session but I am in real doubt that I ever have or will

 

 

 

 

 

2018 year in review Between Scylla and Charybdis

So another year (my sixth and a half) as a submissive.

What have I learned?

Probably that no matter what I try my submissive kinky side mirrors my vanilla real life persona.

I always think of myself as the nearly man in the boring real world
I nearly was a full time football player and was close to making it big but just fell short*.
I nearly married the love of my life but fate played a hand to stop it**
Neither of these were entirely my fault but again as I am the common denominator I guess I have to own up and admit there maybe I’m to blame for both.
I now worry I am the nearly man in my kinky life.

* Three Scotland caps at Under 16 and Under 18 level then I was let go as I was on the verge of making it into the 1st team of a really big club and then homesickness and having to earn money as my family was going through a crisis stopped my football career dead in it’s tracks

** This hurts to this day. I had a real chance at happiness with the woman of my dreams the love of my life and boy did I make a complete mess of it. I wrote about it at length on my vanilla blog but I bore enough people with my kinky blog so I doubt anyone would want to read it on here if I posted a link

So yeah the nearly man. This year I only managed 4 sessions not for the want of trying 2 sessions were last minute cancellations when the fates decreed they would stick their neb in where it was not wanted.

The Xmas one was particularly hard to take as I had lots of presents that I was so looking forward to giving to Mistress Lilith,
I try to be as honest as I can in this blog and I am not going to lie not being able to hand over the present I got ruined the festive season for me it really did

My best friend calls me an emotional vampire. I asked what it meant. He said when things are happy and I am relaxed with friends I bloom and blossom and am a very fun person to be with in a positive atmosphere.
The opposite is true if something goes wrong or I am feeling down or with negative people then I resort to being a doom monger and wallow in self pity and sadness.
I suck the happiness or sadness in a situation and act accordingly.

Anyway I psychoanalyse myself  far too much in this blog I am sure everyone is as bored with it as I am.

The actual sessions in Abstrakt Me  were great as always. Mistress Lilith is in semi retirement and only works two days a week now and is enjoying the well deserved time off.
However her love and infectious enthusiasm is still very clear and the sessions are as good if not better than ever.

This year I had my first session in the schoolroom which was wonderful despite the heat from the unusually scorching hot heatwave that got lost on the way to the Caribbean and ended up sitting over Scotland for a few weeks *
The other sessions with the input of Mistress Lilith were of a more severe variety which added a whole new dimension and outlook for me.

* The session in the schoolroom added a whole new dimension and though I have grown used to and like the dungeon setting it was nice to be somewhere a little different. Oh but the heat. Mistress Lilith was amazing and as wonderful as always but I was struggling with both windows open and a fan on plus two ice packs I was perspiring even worse than normal and left the room three inches deep in my sweat (well it seemed like that)

The schoolroom after the flood level of my sweat had been removed

I had said a few times without thinking to Mistress Lilith that I thought it impossible to be spanked over the knee and be reduced to tears. I felt that a hand spanking would have to take too long no matter how skilled the spanker and I guess in a way I still think this is true and am willing to be proved otherwise.However Mistress Lilith as usual without any fuss or warning managed to skilfully raise my limits and the remaining three sessions were harsher than the last.

The main catalyst for this seemed to be the introduction of the wooden bath brush.
How can I describe it?

Sheer hell
Bloody murder
Absolute agony
Total nightmare
Pure pain
Severe anguish

Basically all of the above.
It looks nothing sitting on the counter. In the hands of the wickedly adroit Mistress Lilith it becomes almost a supernatural entity.
The pain from even one blow is something to behold. The accuracy of two or three blows on the exact same spot has you crying out loudly. More than a minute of constant spanking and you are reduced to tears.
The last 2 sessions of the year were within a fortnight of each other in October. In both I am sure I Way exceeded my limits in the amount of punishment I took.
I was badly bruised and  the skin was broken in several places. The joy this gave me was sheer bliss.
I hate my body but I could not stop looking at the marks on my bum.

Now it is not a competition and I am not saying it is but from my fellow friends on twitter (waves at the subs union) I have always surmised that I take a lot less punishment than they do. I now no longer think this is the case.
Funnily enough with being punished so hard that I am crying you would think the session would be harsh and very serious.
I find the opposite is true between the punishments there is lots of joking and laughing.
I do not know why this is the case it just seems to be and it is great fun.
So I move onto 2019 and should be hoping for more sessions but I am in a between Scylla and Charybdis situation* all of my own making.
For reasons of my own stupid silly neurosis I am wary of asking for a session. My good mate Lars earlier on in the year read me the riot act about my being needy and wanting too much time of Mistress Lilith so I find myself desperate for a session but scared to ask for one. I don’t trust myself to not annoy and pester someone who I love to the moon and back. I just do not trust myself

* Im sure you know what it  is but click the link if you don’t.

So I head into 2019 with a lot of fears and worries I really do not know what to expect. As everything inside my head and real life is crumbling I try to cling on to some sanity and fun in my kinky life.
I want more sessions.
I want to try and challenge my hard limits of which a birching and a strap on session are two I have been wanting to try for years
But my pathetic paranoid self is walking familiar paths again and I am not sure I will have another session never mind ask to try something new

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know that I know nothing or How I stopped worrying and loved the cane or dreams that come true can turn into a nightmare

My latest session was the best ever.

I don’t know where to start.

There are no words to do it justice.But I shall give it a try.

Be warned this may be too long don’t read material

All of this that happened would not have been possible without my Goddess Mistress Lilith

Mistress Lilith webpage for booking sessions
Mistress Lilith fan page

 

PART 1

I have been lucky enough to have sessions with a number of Mistresses and each one is marvellous and different and it has been a pleasure to be in the company of these wonderful ladies.

In my head I have a little list of whom I think spanks the hardest and who is most lethal with the cane or who scares me with the ferocity of their use of the tawse.

One thing however I have always thought is that I could not be spanked over the knees to tears. I always thought that the tears came after the otk when the straps and canes come out to play as I am tied over the spanking bench.
It was always a fantasy of mine to be spanked so hard while over the knee that it brought me to tears. I feel closer to Mistress Lilith in this position I feel her dominance more I feel more submissive it just feels natural and I am totally powerless and give myself fully to her.

So for my most recent session I discussed this with Mistress Lilith, I said I was terrified of topping from the bottom but I would like to try the more severe punishments for this session with the otk not just a painful warm up but the start of the real punishment.

I had no doubts this session was going to be different but I was not prepared at all for how it turned out and how it made me feel.* I thought it would go along the usual lines with unexpected little surprises as Mistress Lilith usually does keeping every session fresh and different from the last.

* I am writing this on Monday the session was on the Friday.I am still bouncing off the walls and talking at 100 miles an hour.Never had a reaction to a session like this before.

 

Mistress Lilith was laughing as she took a leather paddle with holes, a wooden paddle and thick plastic stick with holes from the assortment of scary implements on the wall of pain as I call it.
‘You are not in big trouble this time Marmy’ she said with a beautiful smile that made me weak at the knees and my heartbeat stop then race at a thousand miles an hour.
So the session started as normal. I was pulled over Mistress Lilith’s knees and she started to hand spank me.I tried the old wearing two pairs of panties trick.
When this was discovered I said ” I’m just trying to inject a little variety into your life Mistress’
This got a snort of derision and the reply
‘The only variety is the variety of marks I’m going to make on this backside”

Now a Mistress Lilith hand spanking is not to be treated lightly*.It hurts but right away I realised the shocking truth.
All previous hand spankings hurt but none of them I now know were full force. This full force hand spanking had me squirming across Mistress Lilith’s knees and shouting out in pain.
Then the leather paddle. After less than a minute it was clear this was going to be the harshest punishment I have ever taken. The wooden paddle however is where the trouble started and when I knew I had bitten off more than I could chew.
It just about covered 3/4 of the cheek of my backside but the force behind it meant I could feel it on the other side. I really started to struggle and Mistress Lilith never stopped she had a random rhythm some fast strokes on the exact same spot then slow alternate strokes but one constant was each was harder than the last.
Then breaking point in more ways than one was the stick with holes.
The first blow that landed hurt as much as any items I have had used on me. I didn’t think I could take even one more stroke.Of course I took several dozen.
I started to cry just little cries and tears in my eyes then sobs and wet tears dropping on the wooden floor then huge big cries of pain and genuine full blown crying and sobbing**
There was no respite from Mistress Lilith.
‘A spanking is supposed to hurt’ she said
‘This one has just started’
She was not kidding.
We went back to the start and a hand spanking which hurt twice as much this time.
The leather paddle had me kicking my legs and crying even louder.
The wooden paddle produced just sobbing sounds I could not speak it hurt so much.
‘Something to say to me Marmy?’ Mistress Lilith said with a happy voice.
Through sobs and with a weak voice I managed to say
‘As always you were right you can be spanked to tears over the knee’
‘I’m always right you should know that by now and I have not even started this spanking’
‘No’ I said
‘WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME’ Mistress Lilith said slightly raising her voice but it sounded like a Goddess speaking to me and echoed through the room.
You see saying no to Mistress Lilith if you pardon the pun is a no no. I learned that a long time ago and every session I exhaust my limited vocabulary trying to think of words that mean no. I should really have a pocket Thesaurus with me to help.
‘Sorry Mistress’
‘You will be’

‘You wanted spanked to tears over my knee didn’t you? Well they say dreams that come true often become a nightmare’ Mistress Lilith said in an almost sing song voice.
Then as I was being thrashed with the wooden stick with holes I had an almighty acid reflux attack.I literally spewed out on the floor.

*Her self titled ‘Big Eyrshire Hauns’ Big Ayrshire hands for anyone outwith the West of Scotland.

**   When I think back it was 90% tears caused by the considerable pain and 10% joy that my fantasy of being dressed in stockings suspenders high heels short skirt and wig and being spanked over the knee so hard that I was crying was finally happening.
I think I was also crying over the traumas new and present in my life they say a good cry is cathartic.
Also as brutally honest as I can be as I try to be on this blog I enjoy F/F spanking videos
The one I watch the most is called Spanking girls faces, A front on shot of girls being spanked till they cry
I  don’t watch it as I enjoy seeing women hurt quite the contrary I watch it as I wish I was dressed like them and getting the same punishment from a strong dominant woman as they are getting. It is only fair I allow the same level of punishment to myself to see how I would cope.
As you shall read not very well my admiration for these girls knows no bounds they are tougher than me.

 

PART 2

My brain immediately as it does when things go wrong took the chance to stick the boot into me
The horrible voice in my head
‘Nice one in the middle of a session of a lifetime you upchuck acid all over the floor you can’t do anything right‘

‘I’m so sorry Mistress I’m so very sorry’ I said weakly thinking that’s it end of session.

I should have known better. Mistress Lilith being an experienced and responsible Mistress had asked about any health issues I have and knew of my trouble with stomach acid.

‘Don’t worry here clean it up’ Mistress Lilith handed me some wet wipes and I cleaned the mess up and washed my hands and face.
Honestly I expected it to be the end of the session.

Again I underestimated the awesomeness of Mistress Lilith.

‘I have a duty of care while you are with me are you happy to go on there is no problem with stopping the session’ I was asked.

‘I would love to go on please and I am so so sorry’ I replied

‘Nothing to be sorry about now change of position over the spanking bench’ Mistress Lilith ordered.

I could not  believe my luck this wonderful session was not going to be derailed despite the best efforts of my neurosis or physical problems.

Once I was over the bench I though the session would be milder after my accident.
Could not be further from the truth.

Right away the terrible trio of paddles were given a workout on my very painful backside all with a wonderful commentary from Mistress Lilith of how bruised and marked I was getting.

It didn’t take long for the tears to start then the sobbing then the bawling my eyes out

‘I told you you were going to get spanked till you couldn’t take anymore then you were going to get spanked harder’ said a happy Mistress Lilith she clearly was enjoying this.
I have never had a safe word with Mistress Lilith I know what she wants a sub to say as a safe word but she is so skilled that even when I was well past what I usually take for punishment I didn’t want to say it.

It must take years of experience and no small amount of talent to be able to push the boundaries of a submissive like that.
I was being punished way over my limits but at no time was I scared I felt safe and reassured with Mistress Lilith. I had absolute trust in her and my devotion to her made me want even harsher punishment. It really is remarkable the effect she has on me.
Gosh sometimes I wish she was my life coach I would be a happier and more successful person if that were to happen.

Mistress Lilith stopped for a drink of Cranberry juice saying the juice was the same colour as my backside and she returned with the diary I had to write for this session.
She was not pleased one little bit found my work writing and all round effort not good enough.
In all she found 20 mistakes which equalled 20 strokes of the cane.

The caning was by far the worse I have ever had.

1st stroke I starting sobbing uncontrollably again.

‘Marmy there are 19 to go and I am hardly hitting you they are going to get harder as they go on’  Mistress Lilith said and I could hear the happiness in her voice which made me happy.

Then I said the single most stupid thing I have ever said in a session.

‘I shudder to think what a full force stroke feels like if that is hardly hitting me’

Before the last word was out Mistress Lilith showed me what a full force cane stroke from her was like*
At first I couldn’t make a sound then I let out a sort of rasping gasp then a high pitched whine that frightened every dog and cat within a 20 mile radius  as every cubic centimetre of breath left my body all at once and flew up through the roof up into the sky  flashing through the Van Allen Belts and the atmosphere past the International Space Station and headed for the Andromeda Galaxy where in 20 thousand odd years an alien on his planet will look up at the sky and wonder what the high pitched screaming noise is**
By far the hardest I have been hit by anything in nearly six years of sessions.
Mistress Lilith was really happy.
‘It has broke the skin and with the paddle marks it looks like a smiley face’ she gleefully said.
I always wonder and worry terribly that Mistress Lilith isn’t enjoying the sessions with me.
Mainly because I am a neurotic mess but this day I was in no doubt she was laughing and really happy.
The next part of the caning was 6 ferocious strokes so fast I did not have time to count them.
‘How are you feeling Marmy’ asked a clearly unconcerned Mistress Lilith as she stiffed a laugh.
Before I could get off a smart reply another 3 blistering strokes had me again screaming in a high pitch not heard since the last Castrato died***
Again this was a punishment way beyond anything I have ever had before.
I am not in any competition with any of my fellow subs (waves to my good friends in the Twitter subs union) but I always think from what they say and from pictures posted that I get off lightly.
Well not today.
How I got through the last nine I do not know.
If fact I lost count and ended up getting 21 strokes of the cane.
Again like the village idiot I am in a session I said ‘That’s unfair I got one extra’
Mistress Lilith dragged me back over the spanking bench and gave me another full force stroke.
‘Now you have 2 extra’ with an almost giggle in her voice.
I could not move for the pain I tried rubbing my sore bottom but touching it hurt. What I could feel were bumps and all the cane marks.Despite the pain and tears I felt so happy and again some of the tears were tears of joy.

* Where were you at approx 4.50pm on Friday 21st? Did you notice the window blinds move? The drink in your glass suddenly have ripples? As I’m sure the scream I eventually let out was about 3.6 on the Richter scale enough to cause some structural damage on old buildings.
** Aye ok I know space is a vacuum and there is no sound I just wrote that for comedic effect. I do (believe it or not) have a diploma from Harvard University completing a long distance course in Astronomy. 

*** Read all about it Marmy screaming

PART 3

I thought that was it but I failed to please Mistress Lilith at the end of the session* at one point she slapped my face for my talking myself down and when I wouldn’t stop doing it she had enough and started to choke me. It was all done in good humour but scary at the time she is one very strong woman.

For my failure I was told extra punishment was to be given.
The thickest heaviest and just all round mean Tawse was brought out to play.
I had to bend over for 3 strokes on the bare.
I thought I can handle this I am well warmed up.
Will I ever learn.
The twase bit and wrapped itself round my whole bum and the two tails snapped viciously at the side of my thigh.
Sheer agony and I was blubbering again.
Then something that has not happened for a while and I am giving the game away.
Six of the tawse on the hands.
I both love and hate this.
Obvious Mistress Lilith puts her shoulder into each stroke and even after one I am struggling to cope.3 on both hands lefts them reddened and bruised even now as I type this 3 days later my hands still hurt.
I love it because I have to stand in front of Mistress Lilith and I can see her in all her glory and how she towers over me how she radiates power and dominance.To see her smiling at me then bringing the tawse down on my hands is one of the greatest things I have ever seen.
I love being tawsed on the hands by her I know she doesn’t read my blog (who does?) so it is safe to say that.
This was not the session done.
As again I stupidly mentioned that the punishment on my thighs in the last session hurt days later I got more of the same.
I have no idea which hurts more. Front of the thigh is sheer agony.Back of the thigh is absolute murder.
But again both afford me the view of a dominant powerful beautiful woman punishing me so I secretly like it.Again in a long list of stupid things I have said in a session I said

‘Just as well you are not using the these between my legs as it is a tiny target to guy’s

As if by magic two perfectly aimed right on target strokes on the tip of my penis Really and I mean really sore

‘Stop talking yourself down Marmy’ MIstress Lillith told me.

Mistress Lilith was kind enough to rub some Savlon on my cuts and bruises which I appreciated.

* I’m on new meds. They are creating havoc. I could not relive myself in front of Mistress Lilith as she ordered. I said that I was sorry and I always feel bad about doing this even though Mistress Lilith wants me to do it.
Mistress Lilith wants me to be attracted to a beautiful woman punishing me and that is why I have to do this at the end of a session I always wanted to know why but was too scared to ask.
I still worry I am objectifying and causing offence to someone I love and respect I usually look at the wall while I am ordered to do this
For the record I told Mistress Lilith this
‘You are the most beautiful woman I have know’
‘And you are the most beautiful woman I have ever saw’
I stand by this.

 

THE EPILOGUE (Warning bum photo)

 

The session was over I got undressed and looked at my bum in the mirror.
Apart from looking at my horrible naked body I loved the state my backside was in
My first and hopefully not last proper punishment session
3 days later I was in work and sat down and jumped up with a yelp thinking I had sat on a tack.
It was not that it was the full force cane stroke wheal that I sat down on it is still raised red and angry.
And I love it and love Mistress Lilith for doing it to me.
The day I plucked up courage to visit for a session with her was the best decision I ever made.
She makes my monochrome world into a technicolor one with surround sound an 4D
I am a better person when I am orbiting her star I have no doubts about this.

So those of a nervous disposition look away now here is a scary picture.
This is my bum 3 days later the smiley face full force cane stroke is bottom left on the left photo most of the bruising was the fault of the horrible trio of paddles.